joie de vivre

Ideas just came rushing in. It's semestral break and I can't understand where I have acquired a fiery lust for doing things that are practically nonesense for a busy person like me. It may have been brought about by my feet aching to go outdoors. It's actually my first time staying indoors for a couple of days. I have always been out investing on something, training actually. I suddenly felt a rush like, I paused for a while and for a split second, I though of my innermost cravings and unconscious desires. It's funny how silly my thoughts can be... I suddenly felt the urge to dream. Dream, as in, to view myself ten years from now. What would I be in the future... Or who will I be with... well, not in a mushy way but I suddenly want to do something about it.

I want to be a board topnotcher next year :)

I want to be a kick ass dancer and continue ORIF's legacy (6 peat)

I want to be a succesful nurse/doctor someday :)

I want to have a Godfearing, hot boyfriend someday. LOL.

I want to learn how to play the piano...

I want to be inspired by great people..


It's funny how I can list a number of things to attain this. I even devised a three day plan for my long weekend so that I would be able to structure my thoughts and pick up the pieces. Hopefully being able to build up something that would result to a better me someday. I don't know, I don't want to plan much... I just have to list and see what God has in store for me. :)

Something to chew on...

This morning seems like another one of those mornings where I have to begin the day with worries. I am worried, I worry about everything. I’m worried how I would spend the day productively since we are bombarded with pressure brought about by the school works that are waiting for us to be accomplished.  

But as I paused for a while to read the bible, this particular phrase made me smile… “… Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.”  Genesis 8:21. For some who are having a hard time digesting this, I hope this blog entry would help you chew on God’s word with fewer struggles. 

For skeptics, what about the natural calamities happening nowadays? We keep on experiencing floods and heavy downpour. In addition to that, some parts of the world are shaken by earthquakes and drowned by tsunamis. But if you’d care to stop and ponder about this, isn’t it a hard fact that floods are recurring in our cities because of the clogged sewer system or the deforestation that has been long ongoing? Well, I hope you’ll get my point. The bottom line here is that God doesn’t have anything to do with the natural calamities because if we admit it to ourselves, it is still by our own hands that we make or break what the Earth is now including things it has to offer. So why blame it all on God? So to speak, I am guilty of engaging in the enduring habit of blaming others for the things that I am accountable for. It has been my defense mechanism and up to this point, I still have to wrestle with myself. 

Breakeven

I feel sad…



It has been a couple of months now, still, I wonder why I feel the occasional sorrow whenever I see subtle hints that bring about a flashback of  memories. It is sad, not to mention, frustrating. A moment ago I was ok but here comes a whiff of resemblance with the past and suddenly everything becomes a struggle. It’s hard to put on a smile when I really want to cry my heart out with every ache it felt the first time I learned he was gone. I already built a sturdy façade only to find out how it turned into a pile of rubble just because I saw or heard something about him.

It is overwhelmingly tiring that I have to experience this over and over again – a cycle that only God knows when it would all end. I badly want to forget, to heal. I am growing weary and anxious as to when it would stop because it’s consuming the life out of me. I blab about it and it seems that my friends are also getting tired of hearing it. Who would listen to a damsel rant and rave about her broken heart anyway?

There are so many good and happy things to write about and God even graced me with overflowing blessings that I can’t even count. I think this experience had been draining for me but I consider it a gift from God because had I not experience this; I would never have realize a number of things.

I realized that friends are the best investments we have in this world. When I was in dismay, slightly deaf (because when I was hurt, I became a selective listener – I only listen to the things I wanted to hear), my friends never gave up on annoying me. Relentless in their efforts, they annoyed me all throughout the day about how I should not have acted in a mean way when my special friend, without warning, decided to start a love story of his own (without me in it). They told me that the least I could do was to control my emotions because chances are, my emotions will control me. They became my eyes and ears when I refused to listen and see the reality in front of me.

Annoying, but I still love them! (From L: Sheina, Trishia, Me)

With the gloomy feeling I had, I also began to appreciate The Script. Their music was famous for their melancholic theme of heartbreaks. Before I used to hate cheesy quotes on love and heartbreaks, now I find myself making them. Gross, I know. I even posted some of them in my Facebook account.

I also had the urge to drink liters of liquor, hoping to savor the momentum of cussing and blaming a guy for causing me the heartache, but I was able to suppress my insatiable lust for alcohol because I know it won’t do me any good. Drowning myself with Redhorse isn’t a solution, it is just a medium of escape from reality.  An anti-depressant, I say. It will never heal a broken heart, though it will make me forget it for a while, it will still never be good enough for me. Plus, I don't want to be alcoholic because of a problem over a guy, that would be unbecoming of a Paulinian.

Another thing about my heartbreak is that I couldn’t stop myself from sulking. The most trivial things or places would always leave me moping and thinking about him. A restaurant, boutique, and even people wearing shirts that says they study in Lasalle (he is a Lasallian by the way). Jokingly, I even create a makeshift gun using my hands pretending to shoot the people wearing green and Lasalle shirts in the malls and other places I go. I even throw an imaginary grenade at DLSU whenever I pass by on the way home.

It is disturbing and a bit funny because I tend to do crazy things out of sheer bitterness. I also find myself sighing over a random love song on the radio (forgive me for this!).

Honestly, I don’t know what to do. It’s easy to give an advice to someone but to walk the talk is another story. All I know is that, it will all get better in time as how Leona Lewis puts it.

Hall of Famer: Kelly Slater

A Living Legend

World-renowned surfing legend Kelly Slater bags his tenth ASP World Cup Title. Staring at Kelly Slater’s deep blue eyes during one of his exclusive interviews with David Stanfield shows no hint that this guy in a simple white shirt is actually what the surfing world boasts of as the ten time world champion. An athletic giant in the modern times and currently ranking as the first worldwide, Slater has garnered himself a total of 10,000 points in some recent events such as the Quicksilver Pro and the Gold Coast which were held in Snapper Rocks, Australia.

Personal Background

Born on Feb. 11, 1972, Slater grew near the sandy shores of Cocoa Beach in Florida wherein he spent most of his young life surfing along with his  two brothers - older Sean Slater and younger Stephen Slater. Currently a father to his 10-year old girl, Taylor, he lets his daughter engage in the sport that he was best known for – surfing.

Different investments

Being a successful and overwhelmingly rich athlete, Slater was able to build himself houses in different countries and places across the United States namely Hawaii, Australia, Florida and California.  Leaving the public confused as to where the athlete lives, he answers straightforwardly, “I still have a home in Florida, but I spend probably equal amount of time in California, Hawaii, Australia throughout the year.”

Earning Millions

In his 18 years in the surfing arena, psyching the minds of the people as Stanfield puts it, Slater has earned himself $1,462,005 US Dollars(which amounts to Php 63,414,466.87!) . With the huge sum of money in his hands, he shares his fortune in charitable institutions and has even founded one himself known as the Kelly Slater Foundation. The foundation supports it's efforts by hosting specialty fundraising events and through donations from corporate organizations and individual philanthropists. This enables it to launch its programs and events on raising the awareness and providing financial support for existing social and environmentally conscious charities.

In the limelight

Endowed with the athletic surfing prowess, Slater was not hard on the eyes. In fact, recognized by numerous people in their blogging sites, he was even given the title as the “hottest athlete of 2010”. He starred on several films and he had television appearances such as Baywatch and Surf’s Up.

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Brief Thoughts about life

“Your life is as good as you make it in your mind.” -- A simple phrase that eventually summed up the entirety of his lengthy response to Stanfield’s question, “Do you have the perfect life?” Slater, being the most successful surfer in the history of sport (as described by a blog dedicated to the athlete), still remains modest amidst his innumerable victories, viewing life more of a spiritual thing than merely having money at one’s hands. With a mountain of achievements to brag about, Slater boasts nothing of it. Nevertheless, waking up and being happy was what he stressed of what a great life should constitute of.

Greatest Victory

Caught offguard in the interview as he was asked by Stanfield about his greatest victory, Slater answers, “Maybe the year… two years ago, the muddy water with Chris Ward.” Answering with ease to the question that seemingly struck the sports icon, he said that he felt no pressure and that he just enjoyed the whole experience.

Disclosed Weakness

A person untainted of conceitedness, he boldly disclosed his weakness of having lack of confidence at times. Though a living legend in the surfing scene for almost two decades, he still admits that there are given times that he suffers from anxiety.

A Kelly Slater Interview with David Stanfield 2010

FEATURE LEAD: Mt. Pinatubo in the year 1991

Jun 15, 1991 will always be remembered as the day when Mt. Pinatubo’s wrath took its toll on Luzon’s inhabitants as hundreds of people were killed and over 100, 000 people were left homeless.

STORY: Mt. Pinatubo’s rage unleashed

On Jun. 15, 1991, the Philippine archipelago shook  with terror as Mt. Pinatubo erupted which led to the death of approximately 350 inhabitants and leaving 100, 000 people homeless.

The geographic catastrophe lasted for nine hours which enveloped the atmosphere with 15 and 30 million tons of sulfur dioxide gas that reached the height of 34 kilometers (21 miles) high and 400 km (250 miles) wide within the two hours. Incidentally, with the deadly lash of Mt. Pinatubo, a tropical storm Yunya was passing 75 km (47 miles) to the northeast of Mount Pinatubo.

The ash that came from the volcano was mixed with the water vapor in the air causing a rainfall of tephra over almost the entire island of Luzon. This may have been attributed to the increase in death toll since most of the deaths recorded were caused by the weight of the ash and rubble collapsing roofs on the victims.

Damaging 75, 236 houses over five provinces, 200, 000 people were forced to evacuate their homes and move to settle down in twenty resettlement sites provided by the government. According to Mercado et al, “Damage to crops, infrastructure, and personal property totaled at least 10.1 billion pesos ($US 374 million) in 1991, and an additional 1.9 billion pesos ($US 69 million) in 1992. In addition, an estimated 454 million pesos ($US 17 million) of business was foregone in 1991, as was an additional 37 million pesos ($US 1.4 million) of business in 1992. The costs of caring for evacuees (including construction of evacuation camps and relocation centers) was at least 2.5billion pesos ($US 93 million) in 1991-92, and an additional 4.2 billion pesos ($US 154 million) was spent during the same period on dikes and dams to control lahars (1996: 1063).”

The eruption wreaked its havoc worldwide with longterm damages it induced in aircraft and engines due to the sulfate deposit accumulation.

There were also climate changes reported, lessening the quantity of solar radiation reaching the Earth’s surface, lowering temperatures in the troposphere, and changing atmospheric circulation patterns as reported by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (Nasa).

Sources:

 “The 1991 Pinatubo eruptions and their effects on aircraft operations,” 1999 study by United States Geological Survey (USGS), United States of America; “The Volcanic Mount Pinatubo Eruption of 1991 that Cooled the Planet” in http://geography.about.com/ ; “” in http://geography.about.com/od/globalproblemsandissues/a/pinatubo.htm; “The Cataclysmic 1991 Eruption of Mount Pinatubo, Philippines” in U.S. Geological Survey Fact Sheet 113-97

I LOVE...

I love myself. There are so many things, people, or places to fall in love with and be crazy about but I would first like to start off with myself. Personally pondering over the phrase, I initially thought of it as narcissistic (but I guess it should first cross a boundary before you consider it as a psychiatric condition). I would like to say that I love myself because I want to claim it that way, not that I have a strong sense of insecurity rather, I would like to embrace the things that I have, those that I possess, my strengths and weaknesses. 

"...we can only be humane to ourselves when we are capable to love and accept who we are, what we were made to be."

 I cannot say that I have reached the peak of self-actualization but I can say that I am in the process of accepting my imperfections. It is ironic though, and I think it has been a human nature to instinctively love and accept the things you are good at compared to those that you suck at doing. And I think this poses  a challenge to everyone because how can you overcome your weaknesses when you focus more on your strengths?

                This is the very reason why I have come to realize that I should love myself and now, I am learning to do so. As how Lucille Ball quoted it, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ”

                I believe that as human beings, we can only be humane to ourselves when we are capable to love and accept who we are, what we were made to be. It wouldn’t be nice to torment yourself of your imperfections and complain relentlessly about them. That would be tiring and you would just feel sorry for yourself because you possess a certain characteristic that you don’t like. Instead of whining about them, why not see the beauty in them? There is a reason God made you that way, and it would be best to maximize whatever that may be. J